How She Came Undone

Gabriel Duncan

She used to be all put together.   She was totally in place when she walked into the restaurant.   It was November 42 nd , the sun was in the moon and they were both on the rise, setting at 360°.   The waitress, Ms. Clairol, knew something was up when Margarine (the woman in question) ordered the oyster of rack.   This was a very bad sign, you know.   Not only this but she had more color than usual.   When the food was delivered on the steaming hot table, she turned her nose up at it and called it . . . "delicious"!   The butcher took much offense to this.   He didn't even give her rat poison to sprinkle about it.   As she started to eat the royast of oackster there seemed to be more color in her face; it was growing larger, spreading to all sides of her head.   She saw her reflection in the wood and quickly ordered a carrot roast.   This helped her somewhat.   But she was beginning to become coherent.   At one point, she whispered   to herself, "The sky is blue."   The sky, of course, isn't blue (look outside right now, if you wish); it is more of a chicken-ish tint.   But the fact that Margarine called the sky a part of the boar's reproductive organs made the patrons grow uneasy.   The sky was BLUE, indeed!   She had come undone by the time she finished the carrot roast.   Her face had an orangish tint that made even the fish gasp.   On her cheeks were little round pinks marks, hardly noticeable in a brief glance.   But, if investigated thoroughly, she almost looked . . . well!   Her hair, once sparse and grey, was now FULL and GOLDEN!   She started screaming, "The earth is round!"   "THE EARTH IS ROUND!"   After which, she walked off towards the horizon and fell off.   The last audible sound from her was, "Geronimo!"

And that is how she came undone.